IMG_0123I work hard to keep my life as simple as possible. Why? Because when my life is simple, I feel good – at peace, joyous, lighter, and more centered. The less I have to do that isn’t in some way related to the expression of my intrinsic purpose in life (or somehow related to the creation or maintenance of my deepest joy) – and the less that unnecessary burdens and complications weigh me down — the happier I am. This isn’t to say that I’m not extremely busy – I am. Nor is it to say that I’m not constantly stretching myself and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I am (and that’s the real secret to my success). But I know my limits, I know what really keeps life simple (a pure, purposeful, and authentic life of the highest integrity…in a nutshell), and I know when to retreat and recharge. And by keeping my focus on having a focused, simple, pure, and loving life, I can then (with relative ease) retreat to that place of pure rejuvenation and centeredness whenever I need to.

For the 40+ crowd, it was easier to do this when we were kids, – to naturally recharge our batteries – because we purely flitted from one pleasure pursuit to another…the next laugh, the next smile, the next popsicle, the next great adventure. As adults, however, many of us have so aimlessly created so many activities, circumstances, and responsibilities in our lives that really have nothing to do with the expression of our purpose — or the creation or maintenance of our deepest joy — that many people are experiencing little – if any – satisfaction in their lives. Not at all what was intended for our lives.

NOTE: I’m talking here about practical, doable ways to simplify and experience more joy in your life if you’re one of the many mature, hard-working people –parents and professionals — who I routinely speak with who are stressed, burned out, mired in negativity, and in need of some relief. However, there is a new generation (or two) of surly young individuals who have made selfishness and the pursuit of surface pleasures – not integrity or purpose — a way of life. And that’s a different issue altogether (and these individuals in many ways contribute greatly to the stress and negativity that others are experiencing today).

But the opportunity is still there for all of us – to varying degrees — to return to lives that are as easy and simple as possible. We can create adult lives that provide comfort, joy, and peace to us when we need it. That’s not to say that we won’t have circumstances and complications in our lives that we haven’t asked for or created. Without question, there are bad breaks and tragedies that are not of our own making. And in these circumstances, it’s all the more important that we take care of ourselves – mentally, spiritually, and physically – or we can drown in our valid pressures and worries.

So, how do you start un-complicating – at least to some degree — a complicated life of your own making? How can you shed unnecessary burdens and stressors that are weighing you down and stifling your hopes and deepest joys?

Ask yourself, do I still view my life, my potential, and my future through the same hopeful, positive lens through which I so naturally viewed the world when I was younger? If the answer is “no,” it’s time for a paradigm shift — because no matter what you face in your life, you deserve to experience as much joy, hope, and belief in a better tomorrow as possible.  When you consider the negative circumstances in your life that are of your own making, what specifically have you created or included in your life that is so spirit-draining? Bad career choice? Too-large of a mortgage? Toxic relationships? Over-spending?

In days long gone by, the living was easier. As a child, you moved in the direction of what was fun, what thoroughly engaged you, what brought joy, what felt good. There was no overthinking, no politics, no conditioned fears. There wasn’t even always a plan. Who was kind? Who was nice? What was fun? Who was fun? Who laughed a lot? Where were the best popsicles, the best pools, the best friends?

I rode my bike, picked blackberries, plucked vegetables from the garden and rinsed them with the hose, swam in the neighbor’s pool, jumped rope, played hopscotch, laid in the grass, drank Kool-Aid, ran with the dog, explored, and napped when needed. Ideal. And, as it turns out, even after many left turns and failed experiments, these are still the activities that bring me joy and center my soul (with a great bottle of wine thrown in every now and again). Why did I let my favorite activities go for so long? Sure, my teen years and young adulthood brought different interests. But at the same time, I allowed a core part of who I was to evaporate, as many people do. Why do we as adults allow the things we loved as children to become irrelevant, esoteric, and arcane aspects of who we once were?

Conditioning, pressures, expectations, difficulties, experiences, circumstances, coping mechanisms, etc. all kick in and change the extent to which we feel we can live freely and trust ourselves. We no longer view our choices, our activities, and our world through a simple lens. There is so much else to consider now.

We began orienting our lives differently and making choices that seemed safe in helping us to avoid what we don’t want, but that no longer necessarily move us toward what we do want. We do this as adults as naturally and effortlessly as we used to — in days gone by — gravitate toward bomb pops, smiles, and sunny playgrounds.

Think of the little ways every day that you “have to” avoid creating what would really make you happy because you are too busy prioritizing the avoidance of potential trouble or conflict. For example, for all of us, a loving, safe  atmosphere in our homes should serve as our lives’ foundation, but you may feel the need to avoid conflict with your spouse, parent, or child and so you avoid being at home altogether or you avoid engaging with others in your home by working more, talking on the phone more, spending time on the computer more, drinking alcohol more…everything but really creating the loving, safe, peaceful, and joyful environment – a soulful baseline — that could feed your soul and move your life forward in all the right ways. And all of these meaningless activities and time-wasters complicate your life in ways that remove you from your center of mind-body-spirit balance.

Your life can be as simple and balanced — or as complex and off-kilter — as you choose to make it. Here are some suggestions for finding your way back to simplicity, balance, and joy. Make a habit of as many of the following approaches as you can and you will see your life begin to change for the better:

  1. Don’t make things so hard – the moments when you feel at peace, calm, and balanced are those times when you are doing what is right for you. Trust this feeling. Strive to make the circumstances and activities of those times the predominate themes in your life.
  2. Maintain your health. Nothing will work right in your life without it. If you’re not focusing on being healthy, start here.
  3. Give your body the sleep it needs. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, your body needs to operate from a place of balance, and sleep is an essential aspect.
  4. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier. Avoid starting your day off by rushing or being late.
  5. Catch yourself comparing yourself with others and feeling competitive and jealous. Shun those thoughts – shut them down, as they are completely wasted time and mental effort.
  6. When you’re wrong and you know it, just quickly say so, apologize, and allow everyone to move on. Don’t allow stupid things to fester. We all make mistakes; we’re all wrong at times.
  7. Stop being a people-pleaser and stop trying to make everyone a friend.
  8. Stop being offended when everyone doesn’t want to be your friend. You can be kind, a nice neighbor, a compassionate human being, and helpful co-worker without having to be friends with everyone. Many of us already have a boat-load of significant relationships that we’re not paying enough attention to. I am extremely selective about with whom I’ll establish a personal relationship. There should be a values-match with the people you allow in your life. They should support you and you should support them. If they don’t make you feel good about you, question that relationships place in your life.
  9. Don’t talk incessantly about yourself. If you’ve been visiting with someone and all you’ve done is talk about yourself, trust me, they won’t want to visit with you anymore (and this may explain why everyone doesn’t want to be your friend).
  10. De-clutter your primary living and working environments – office, home, car, etc. Clutter is damaging to your energy – mental and spiritual.
  11. Forgive those who have hurt you – do it for you. There are many great books on learning to forgive. Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy also provides a strong approach to beginning the process of forgiveness.
  12. If you don’t know the answer, ask for help – be it directions, advice, instructions, etc. Get the help you need and move on. Asking questions or for clarification politely is not confrontational and is not belligerent. Getting answers will help you do things right the first time.
  13. Figure out where your life’s primary frustrations and time-wasters are, and put a plan in place to fix it. Get help, eliminate, put processes in place…fix it…now.
  14. Don’t assume …just stop making assumptions. Ask questions, clarify, converse, communicate.
  15. Don’t expect others to make assumptions. If you want something done a certain way, say so. You are not being aggressive or out of line when you politely state what you want.
  16. Take control of your temper by remembering to pause and breathe when you are about to say something nasty or rude. Stop yourself – pause — before a single word comes out of your mouth. You’ll save yourself a lot more time and heartache if you don’t speak out of anger.
  17. Always, always, always live below your means. Don’t make big impulse purchases….ever. Think about it first.
  18. Never, ever forego your monthly savings plan unless for a catastrophic emergency.
  19. Really do surround yourself with people who are smarter, funnier, and healthier than you. It really motivates you to raise your game and also comes in handy when you need help or guidance.
  20. Remember…what you do to others has already been done to you. There is no avoiding karma. Allow karma to serve as a self-governing system for all of your actions and words.
  21. Do what’s good, what’s right, what’s true for you. Always. Even when it’s not popular. Follow your own internal instruction system. And I don’t mean, if it feels good, do it. I’m referring to getting in touch with your spirit core and living from this place of pure, purposeful, high integrity. There is only one kind of authenticity – and that’s spirit-driven. Only the “Ego-You” is suggesting that you get tattoos, dress scantily, be rude, and so on.
  22. When stressed, anxious, or angry, go workout, go for a walk, physically burn off some energy.
  23. Never drink and drive.
  24. Be trustworthy. Honor all commitments and be known as an honorable, responsible person. Follow through, follow up, be impeccable in word and deed.
  25. Know that it’s never okay to say, “I’m always late.” (It’s very character revealing.)
  26. If you feel love, say so — frequently. “I love you” is a good thing to say.
  27. Use prioritized “to-do” lists every day/week if you really want to get things done and see forward progress in your life.
  28. Incorporate technology into your life wherever and whenever possible. It should expedite and simplify, not complicate, a lot of routine tasks.
  29. Never lie. Never steal.
  30. Avoid long daily commutes.
  31. Be honest with yourself. Living from a place of denial will prevent you from being deeply, truly happy.
  32. Live authentically; embrace your unique spirit-self. Allow others who are important to you to know who you really are.
  33. Only multi-task if you are someone who can get things done.  If you only really accomplish things one task at a time, then, by all means, do one thing at a time as expeditiously as possible.
  34. When packing for a trip, take the time to plan out what you will really need, and limit yourself to that.
  35. Clean as you go.
  36. If a job isn’t worth doing right the first time, then why do it at all?
  37. It’s not cool — male or female — to be proud that you can’t cook. It just isn’t. Learn to grill, learn to make a few simple things, but please don’t brag that you can’t cook.
  38. Shop when you need to, not just because you want to.
  39. Use cash, not credit, as much as possible. If you don’t have the cash, don’t buy an unnecessary item on credit.
  40. Mind your own business. Nobody really likes a nosey-nose.
  41. Don’t be a sounding board, or whipping board, for crazy, negative people.
  42. Never forget…where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…
  43. Spend time taking good care of your most significant assets – your body/health, your relationships, your home, your vehicles, and so on.
  44. Smile – doesn’t matter who smiles back. Putting out more love and good energy in the world can only be a good thing.
  45. Avoid bad people as much as possible. If you can cut them out of your life, do so. If you have a crazy, evil, addict neighbor – or someone else distasteful in your life, i.e. a co-worker whom you would never choose to associate with, but have to be exposed to everyday – limit your exposure or ignore them to the extent that you can. A daily dose of evil can only hurt you – ignore it. You’re better than that.
  46. Avoid doing things that make you feel bad about yourself as much as possible.
  47. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
  48. Be optimistic. Positive people rock.
  49. Treat the elderly with respect. If someone is frustrating you by moving slowly or otherwise impeding your path, imagine it’s your grandmother, grandfather, or other beloved elder. Show the same respect and patience you’d show – and want shown — to your own loved ones and family.
  50. Expect to forget things. Write things down. Commit to staying organized.
  51. Commit to learning something new every…day, week, month. Be a lifelong learner. Be curious. Engage in interesting moments and contemplate the relevance or applicability to your life. How can the learning of everyday moments be incorporated into your life in ways that can make you better?
  52. Give compliments.
  53. Say please and thank you.
  54. Hold the door for others behind you.
  55. Drink LOTS of water every day.
  56. Got a great idea. Pursue it. Pursuing talents, dreams, and passions is what your life was meant for.
  57. Don’t give up when the going gets tough. It’s going to be tough nowadays. Start-ups were never easy – and they’re even harder today. The people who innovate, persevere, and hang in there today will rule the world tomorrow.
  58. Spend time in nature as much as possible.
  59. Don’t be afraid of the sun….just wear sunscreen.
  60. Stop texting and driving.
  61. If you meet someone you like and would like to develop a relationship, let them know.
  62. Never stop building your network.
  63. Don’t repeatedly ignore people who reach out to you and then call them when you’re out of work or when you need something. Ever.
  64. Be bold. Be courageous. Don’t base your life, your choices, your actions on what you think other people will think.
  65. Never eat when you’re not hungry.
  66. Incorporate 30 minutes of activity into your every day schedule. How many days should you exercise…Well, how many days do you eat?
  67. Remember, people are what they do…not what they say.
  68. Give thanks every single day for all that you do have. Make gratitude for what is going right in your life – for what you do have—the foundation from which you approach your life. I give thanks for all that I have every single morning upon waking and frequently throughout the day. I learned through my cancer experience last year to take nothing – not a single day – for granted.
  69. Write out your life’s priorities. Create a life “purpose plan” and allow it to guide your priorities, decisions, and choices. If a major decision or choice doesn’t move you toward what you ultimately want, why do it in the first place?
  70. If you can’t change something, learn how to live peacefully with it.
  71. Remember, “luck” goes to the hard workers.
  72. Be a great problem-solver. Think deeply and move toward the solutions that – upon considering them – immediately lighten your load emotionally.
  73. Be a great friend. Be the kind of friend that you’d like to have.
  74. Don’t try to be older than you really are. Relish every age. The sweet times pass quickly.
  75. Find the lesson in everything…and then move on. Don’t dwell on the past. Don’t be a victim. Live in the here and now and create your future moment by moment.
  76. Make sure you choose a vocation that you truly love, that doesn’t feel like work. Love your job. If you don’t, figure out what you do love and get about the business of doing it. Get a foot in the door. Volunteer. Hang your own shingle. Life is too precious to unnecessarily spend it doing something that sucks the life out of you.
  77. Don’t allow anyone to discourage you when you are following your heart and dreams…go for it!
  78. In the midst of the hardest times, tell yourself, this, too, shall pass.
  79. Take time to smell the roses….literally. Breathe deeply the fresh air. Take in the sunset/sunrise. Gaze at the stars. Soak up a sunny, blue sky. Don’t lose your sense of wonder. Listen to the Lee Ann Womack song, I Hope You Dance.
  80. Give yourself a pat on the back, a toast, and “three cheers” when you have even small victories.
  81. Laugh…hard and often.
  82. Give affection, allow yourself to receive affection.
  83. Focus on what you’re good at – and then strive to be very, very good. This brings pride and satisfaction, and helps to eliminate frustration.
  84. Don’t defend or overlook out-of-line, incompetent, or incorrigible behavior. Better to say nothing than to defend or protect evil.
  85. Meditate, meditate, and meditate. Did I mention that you should meditate? Meditate.

PassionHow do you become inspired and motivated to approach your life and career with the utmost purpose, productive action, passion, and positivity? The defining characteristics of the most successful, fulfilled, and joyous individuals — including top-flight executives, entrepreneurs, and championship team players — are about far more than the leadership style they’ve adopted or the persona they’ve assumed in order to assimilate more effectively into a particular organization and its culture. The actual qualities that make someone truly extraordinary are far more intrinsic to who they are as individuals and encompass myriad thoughtful, ingrained approaches to their life and career.

I work hard to keep my life as simple as possible. Why? Because when my life is simple, I feel good – at peace, joyous, lighter, and more centered. The less I have to do that isn’t in some way related to the expression of my intrinsic purpose in life (or somehow related to the creation or maintenance of my deepest joy) – and the less that unnecessary burdens and complications weigh me down — the happier I am. This isn’t to say that I’m not extremely busy – I am. Nor is it to say that I’m not constantly stretching myself and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I am (and that’s the real secret to my success). But I know my limits, I know what really keeps life simple (a pure, purposeful, and authentic life of the highest integrity…in a nutshell), and I know when to retreat and recharge. And by keeping my focus on having a focused, simple, pure, and loving life, I can then (with relative ease) retreat to that place of pure rejuvenation and centeredness whenever I need to.

For the 40+ crowd, it was easier to do this when we were kids, – to naturally recharge our batteries – because we purely flitted from one pleasure pursuit to another…the next laugh, the next smile, the next popsicle, the next great adventure. As adults, however, many of us have so aimlessly created so many activities, circumstances, and responsibilities in our lives that really have nothing to do with the expression of our purpose — or the creation or maintenance of our deepest joy — that many people are experiencing little – if any – satisfaction in their lives. Not at all what was intended for our lives.

NOTE: I’m talking here about practical, doable ways to simplify and experience more joy in your life if you’re one of the many mature, hard-working people –parents and professionals — who I routinely speak with who are stressed, burned out, mired in negativity, and in need of some relief. However, there is a new generation (or two) of surly young individuals who have made selfishness and the pursuit of surface pleasures – not integrity or purpose — a way of life. And that’s a different issue altogether (and these individuals in many ways contribute greatly to the stress and negativity that others are experiencing today).

But the opportunity is still there for all of us – to varying degrees — to return to lives that are as easy and simple as possible. We can create adult lives that provide comfort, joy, and peace to us when we need it. That’s not to say that we won’t have circumstances and complications in our lives that we haven’t asked for or created. Without question, there are bad breaks and tragedies that are not of our own making. And in these circumstances, it’s all the more important that we take care of ourselves – mentally, spiritually, and physically – or we can drown in our valid pressures and worries.

So, how do you start un-complicating – at least to some degree — a complicated life of your own making? How can you shed unnecessary burdens and stressors that are weighing you down and stifling your hopes and deepest joys?

Ask yourself, do I still view my life, my potential, and my future through the same hopeful, positive lens through which I so naturally viewed the world when I was younger? If the answer is “no,” it’s time for a paradigm shift — because no matter what you face in your life, you deserve to experience as much joy, hope, and belief in a better tomorrow as possible.  When you consider the negative circumstances in your life that are of your own making, what specifically have you created or included in your life that is so spirit-draining? Bad career choice? Too-large of a mortgage? Toxic relationships? Over-spending?

In days long gone by, the living was easier. As a child, you moved in the direction of what was fun, what thoroughly engaged you, what brought joy, what felt good. There was no overthinking, no politics, no conditioned fears. There wasn’t even always a plan. Who was kind? Who was nice? What was fun? Who was fun? Who laughed a lot? Where were the best popsicles, the best pools, the best friends?

I rode my bike, picked blackberries, plucked vegetables from the garden and rinsed them with the hose, swam in the neighbor’s pool, jumped rope, played hopscotch, laid in the grass, drank Kool-Aid, ran with the dog, explored, and napped when needed. Ideal. And, as it turns out, even after many left turns and failed experiments, these are still the activities that bring me joy and center my soul (with a great bottle of wine thrown in every now and again). Why did I let my favorite activities go for so long? Sure, my teen years and young adulthood brought different interests. But at the same time, I allowed a core part of who I was to evaporate, as many people do. Why do we as adults allow the things we loved as children to become irrelevant, esoteric, and arcane aspects of who we once were?

Conditioning, pressures, expectations, difficulties, experiences, circumstances, coping mechanisms, etc. all kick in and change the extent to which we feel we can live freely and trust ourselves. We no longer view our choices, our activities, and our world through a simple lens. There is so much else to consider now. There is not enough balance.

We began orienting our lives differently and making choices that seemed safe in helping us to avoid what we don’t want, but that no longer necessarily move us toward what we do want. We do this as adults as naturally and effortlessly as we used to — in days gone by — gravitate toward bomb pops, smiles, and sunny playgrounds.

Think of the little ways every day that you “have to” avoid creating what would really make you happy because you are too busy prioritizing the avoidance of potential trouble or conflict. For example, for all of us, a loving, safe  atmosphere in our homes should serve as our lives’ foundation, but you may feel the need to avoid conflict with your spouse, parent, or child and so you avoid being at home altogether or you avoid engaging with others in your home by working more, talking on the phone more, spending time on the computer more, drinking alcohol more…everything but really creating the loving, safe, peaceful, and joyful environment – a soulful baseline — that could feed your soul and move your life forward in all the right ways. And all of these meaningless activities and time-wasters complicate your life in ways that remove you from your center of mind-body-spirit balance.

Your life can be as simple and balanced — or as complex and off-kilter — as you choose to make it. Here are some suggestions for finding your way back to simplicity, balance, and joy. Make a habit of as many of the following approaches as you can and you will see your life begin to change for the better:

  1. Don’t make things so hard – the moments when you feel at peace, calm, and balanced are those times when you are doing what is right for you. Trust this feeling. Strive to make the circumstances and activities of those times the predominate themes in your life.
  2. Maintain your health. Nothing will work right in your life without it. If you’re not focusing on being healthy, start here.
  3. Give your body the sleep it needs. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, your body needs to operate from a place of balance, and sleep is an essential aspect.
  4. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier. Avoid starting your day off by rushing or being late.
  5. Catch yourself comparing yourself with others and feeling competitive and jealous. Shun those thoughts – shut them down, as they are completely wasted time and mental effort.
  6. When you’re wrong and you know it, just quickly say so, apologize, and allow everyone to move on. Don’t allow stupid things to fester. We all make mistakes; we’re all wrong at times.
  7. Stop being a people-pleaser and stop trying to make everyone a friend.
  8. Stop being offended when everyone doesn’t want to be your friend. You can be kind, a nice neighbor, a compassionate human being, and helpful co-worker without having to be friends with everyone. Many of us already have a boat-load of significant relationships that we’re not paying enough attention to. I am extremely selective about with whom I’ll establish a personal relationship. There should be a values-match with the people you allow in your life. They should support you and you should support them. If they don’t make you feel good about you, question that relationships place in your life.
  9. Don’t talk incessantly about yourself. If you’ve been visiting with someone and all you’ve done is talk about yourself, trust me, they won’t want to visit with you anymore (and this may explain why everyone doesn’t want to be your friend).
  10. De-clutter your primary living and working environments – office, home, car, etc. Clutter is damaging to your energy – mental and spiritual.
  11. Forgive those who have hurt you – do it for you. There are many great books on learning to forgive. Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy also provides a strong approach to beginning the process of forgiveness.
  12. If you don’t know the answer, ask for help – be it directions, advice, instructions, etc. Get the help you need and move on. Asking questions or for clarification politely is not confrontational and is not belligerent. Getting answers will help you do things right the first time.
  13. Figure out where your life’s primary frustrations and time-wasters are, and put a plan in place to fix it. Get help, eliminate, put processes in place…fix it…now.
  14. Don’t assume …just stop making assumptions. Ask questions, clarify, converse, communicate.
  15. Don’t expect others to make assumptions. If you want something done a certain way, say so. You are not being aggressive or out of line when you politely state what you want.
  16. Take control of your temper by remembering to pause and breathe when you are about to say something nasty or rude. Stop yourself – pause — before a single word comes out of your mouth. You’ll save yourself a lot more time and heartache if you don’t speak out of anger.
  17. Always, always, always live below your means. Don’t make big impulse purchases….ever. Think about it first.
  18. Never, ever forego your monthly savings plan unless for a catastrophic emergency.
  19. Really do surround yourself with people who are smarter, funnier, and healthier than you. It really motivates you to raise your game and also comes in handy when you need help or guidance.
  20. Remember…what you do to others has already been done to you. There is no avoiding karma. Allow karma to serve as a self-governing system for all of your actions and words.
  21. Do what’s good, what’s right, what’s true for you. Always. Even when it’s not popular. Follow your own internal instruction system. And I don’t mean, if it feels good, do it. I’m referring to getting in touch with your spirit core and living from this place of pure, purposeful, high integrity. There is only one kind of authenticity – and that’s spirit-driven. Only the “Ego-You” is suggesting that you get tattoos, dress scantily, be rude, and so on.
  22. When stressed, anxious, or angry, go workout, go for a walk, physically burn off some energy.
  23. Never drink and drive.
  24. Be trustworthy. Honor all commitments and be known as an honorable, responsible person. Follow through, follow up, be impeccable in word and deed.
  25. Know that it’s never okay to say, “I’m always late.” (It’s very character revealing.)
  26. If you feel love, say so — frequently. “I love you” is a good thing to say.
  27. Use prioritized “to-do” lists every day/week if you really want to get things done and see forward progress in your life.
  28. Incorporate technology into your life wherever and whenever possible. It should expedite and simplify, not complicate, a lot of routine tasks.
  29. Never lie. Never steal.
  30. Avoid long daily commutes.
  31. Be honest with yourself. Living from a place of denial will prevent you from being deeply, truly happy.
  32. Live authentically; embrace your unique spirit-self. Allow others who are important to you to know who you really are.
  33. Only multi-task if you are someone who can get things done.  If you only really accomplish things one task at a time, then, by all means, do one thing at a time as expeditiously as possible.
  34. When packing for a trip, take the time to plan out what you will really need, and limit yourself to that.
  35. Clean as you go.
  36. If a job isn’t worth doing right the first time, then why do it at all?
  37. It’s not cool — male or female — to be proud that you can’t cook. It just isn’t. Learn to grill, learn to make a few simple things, but please don’t brag that you can’t cook.
  38. Shop when you need to, not just because you want to.
  39. Use cash, not credit, as much as possible. If you don’t have the cash, don’t buy an unnecessary item on credit.
  40. Mind your own business. Nobody really likes a nosey-nose.
  41. Don’t be a sounding board, or whipping board, for crazy, negative people.
  42. Never forget…where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…
  43. Spend time taking good care of your most significant assets – your body/health, your relationships, your home, your vehicles, and so on.
  44. Smile – doesn’t matter who smiles back. Putting out more love and good energy in the world can only be a good thing.
  45. Avoid bad people as much as possible. If you can cut them out of your life, do so. If you have a crazy, evil, addict neighbor – or someone else distasteful in your life, i.e. a co-worker whom you would never choose to associate with, but have to be exposed to everyday – limit your exposure or ignore them to the extent that you can. A daily dose of evil can only hurt you – ignore it. You’re better than that.
  46. Avoid doing things that make you feel bad about yourself as much as possible.
  47. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
  48. Be optimistic. Positive people rock.
  49. Treat the elderly with respect. If someone is frustrating you by moving slowly or otherwise impeding your path, imagine it’s your grandmother, grandfather, or other beloved elder. Show the same respect and patience you’d show – and want shown — to your own loved ones and family.
  50. Expect to forget things. Write things down. Commit to staying organized.
  51. Commit to learning something new every…day, week, month. Be a lifelong learner. Be curious. Engage in interesting moments and contemplate the relevance or applicability to your life. How can the learning of everyday moments be incorporated into your life in ways that can make you better?
  52. Give compliments.
  53. Say please and thank you.
  54. Hold the door for others behind you.
  55. Drink LOTS of water every day.
  56. Got a great idea. Pursue it. Pursuing talents, dreams, and passions is what your life was meant for.
  57. Don’t give up when the going gets tough. It’s going to be tough nowadays. Start-ups were never easy – and they’re even harder today. The people who innovate, persevere, and hang in there today will rule the world tomorrow.
  58. Spend time in nature as much as possible.
  59. Don’t be afraid of the sun….just wear sunscreen.
  60. Stop texting and driving.
  61. If you meet someone you like and would like to develop a relationship, let them know.
  62. Never stop building your network.
  63. Don’t repeatedly ignore people who reach out to you and then call them when you’re out of work or when you need something. Ever.
  64. Be bold. Be courageous. Don’t base your life, your choices, your actions on what you think other people will think.
  65. Never eat when you’re not hungry.
  66. Incorporate 30 minutes of activity into your every day schedule. How many days should you exercise…Well, how many days do you eat?
  67. Remember, people are what they do…not what they say.
  68. Give thanks every single day for all that you do have. Make gratitude for what is going right in your life – for what you do have—the foundation from which you approach your life. I give thanks for all that I have every single morning upon waking and frequently throughout the day. I learned through my cancer experience last year to take nothing – not a single day – for granted.
  69. Write out your life’s priorities. Create a life “purpose plan” and allow it to guide your priorities, decisions, and choices. If a major decision or choice doesn’t move you toward what you ultimately want, why do it in the first place?
  70. If you can’t change something, learn how to live peacefully with it.
  71. Remember, “luck” goes to the hard workers.
  72. Be a great problem-solver. Think deeply and move toward the solutions that – upon considering them – immediately lighten your load emotionally.
  73. Be a great friend. Be the kind of friend that you’d like to have.
  74. Don’t try to be older than you really are. Relish every age. The sweet times pass quickly.
  75. Find the lesson in everything…and then move on. Don’t dwell on the past. Don’t be a victim. Live in the here and now and create your future moment by moment.
  76. Make sure you choose a vocation that you truly love, that doesn’t feel like work. Love your job. If you don’t, figure out what you do love and get about the business of doing it. Get a foot in the door. Volunteer. Hang your own shingle. Life is too precious to unnecessarily spend it doing something that sucks the life out of you.
  77. Don’t allow anyone to discourage you when you are following your heart and dreams…go for it!
  78. In the midst of the hardest times, tell yourself, this, too, shall pass.
  79. Take time to smell the roses….literally. Breathe deeply the fresh air. Take in the sunset/sunrise. Gaze at the stars. Soak up a sunny, blue sky. Don’t lose your sense of wonder. Listen to the Lee Ann Womack song, I Hope You Dance.
  80. Give yourself a pat on the back, a toast, and “three cheers” when you have even small victories.
  81. Laugh…hard and often.
  82. Give affection, allow yourself to receive affection.
  83. Focus on what you’re good at – and then strive to be very, very good. This brings pride and satisfaction, and helps to eliminate frustration.
  84. Don’t defend or overlook out-of-line, incompetent, or incorrigible behavior. Better to say nothing than to defend or protect evil.
  85. Meditate, meditate, and meditate. Did I mention that you should meditate? Meditate.

Kristi LeBlanc is the Executive Vice President and Managing Director, North American Consumer Practice, with DHR International, a top-5, retained, global executive search firm. She has spent 15 years as a retained executive recruiter with the globe’s largest, most prestigious executive search firms, including Korn/Ferry International where she was a Senior Partner.  She is also the author of  the award-winning, “Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy,” and the President of Living with Certainty™ LLC: Empowering Women and Girls Through a Focus On Well-Being and Life-Force where she offers Living with Certainty™ Mentor Programs and speaking services.  To learn more visit http://www.Livingwithcertainty.com, http://www.dhrinternational.com/consultants/consultantsviewbio.aspx?consultantid=329, or call Kristi at 303-997-9328.

Purchase copies of the three-time award-winning book, Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy, at Amazon.

I work hard to keep my life as simple as possible. Why? Because when my life is simple, I feel good – at peace, joyous, lighter, and more centered. The less I have to do that isn’t in some way related to the expression of my intrinsic purpose in life (or somehow related to the creation or maintenance of my deepest joy) – and the less that unnecessary burdens and complications weigh me down — the happier I am. This isn’t to say that I’m not extremely busy – I am. Nor is it to say that I’m not constantly stretching myself and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I am (and that’s the real secret to my success). But I know my limits, I know what really keeps life simple (a pure, purposeful, and authentic life of the highest integrity…in a nutshell), and I know when to retreat and recharge. And by keeping my focus on having a focused, simple, pure, and loving life, I can then (with relative ease) retreat to that place of pure rejuvenation and centeredness whenever I need to.

For the 40+ crowd, it was easier to do this when we were kids, – to naturally recharge our batteries – because we purely flitted from one pleasure pursuit to another…the next laugh, the next smile, the next popsicle, the next great adventure. As adults, however, many of us have so aimlessly created so many activities, circumstances, and responsibilities in our lives that really have nothing to do with the expression of our purpose — or the creation or maintenance of our deepest joy — that many people are experiencing little – if any – satisfaction in their lives. Not at all what was intended for our lives.

NOTE: I’m talking here about practical, doable ways to simplify and experience more joy in your life if you’re one of the many mature, hard-working people –parents and professionals — who I routinely speak with who are stressed, burned out, mired in negativity, and in need of some relief. However, there is a new generation (or two) of surly young individuals who have made selfishness and the pursuit of surface pleasures – not integrity or purpose — a way of life. And that’s a different issue altogether (and these individuals in many ways contribute greatly to the stress and negativity that others are experiencing today).

But the opportunity is still there for all of us – to varying degrees — to return to lives that are as easy and simple as possible. We can create adult lives that provide comfort, joy, and peace to us when we need it. That’s not to say that we won’t have circumstances and complications in our lives that we haven’t asked for or created. Without question, there are bad breaks and tragedies that are not of our own making. And in these circumstances, it’s all the more important that we take care of ourselves – mentally, spiritually, and physically – or we can drown in our valid pressures and worries.  

So, how do you start un-complicating – at least to some degree — a complicated life of your own making? How can you shed unnecessary burdens and stressors that are weighing you down and stifling your hopes and deepest joys?

Ask yourself, do I still view my life, my potential, and my future through the same hopeful, positive lens through which I so naturally viewed the world when I was younger? If the answer is “no,” it’s time for a paradigm shift — because no matter what you face in your life, you deserve to experience as much joy, hope, and belief in a better tomorrow as possible.  When you consider the negative circumstances in your life that are of your own making, what specifically have you created or included in your life that is so spirit-draining? Bad career choice? Too-large of a mortgage? Toxic relationships? Over-spending?

In days long gone by, the living was easier. As a child, you moved in the direction of what was fun, what thoroughly engaged you, what brought joy, what felt good. There was no overthinking, no politics, no conditioned fears. There wasn’t even always a plan. Who was kind? Who was nice? What was fun? Who was fun? Who laughed a lot? Where were the best popsicles, the best pools, the best friends?

I rode my bike, picked blackberries, plucked vegetables from the garden and rinsed them with the hose, swam in the neighbor’s pool, jumped rope, played hopscotch, laid in the grass, drank Kool-Aid, ran with the dog, explored, and napped when needed. Ideal. And, as it turns out, even after many left turns and failed experiments, these are still the activities that bring me joy and center my soul (with a great bottle of wine thrown in every now and again). Why did I let my favorite activities go for so long? Sure, my teen years and young adulthood brought different interests. But at the same time, I allowed a core part of who I was to evaporate, as many people do. Why do we as adults allow the things we loved as children to become irrelevant, esoteric, and arcane aspects of who we once were?

Conditioning, pressures, expectations, difficulties, experiences, circumstances, coping mechanisms, etc. all kick in and change the extent to which we feel we can live freely and trust ourselves. We no longer view our choices, our activities, and our world through a simple lens. There is so much else to consider now. There is not enough balance.

We began orienting our lives differently and making choices that seemed safe in helping us to avoid what we don’t want, but that no longer necessarily move us toward what we do want. We do this as adults as naturally and effortlessly as we used to — in days gone by — gravitate toward bomb pops, smiles, and sunny playgrounds.

Think of the little ways every day that you “have to” avoid creating what would really make you happy because you are too busy prioritizing the avoidance of potential trouble or conflict. For example, for all of us, a loving, safe  atmosphere in our homes should serve as our lives’ foundation, but you may feel the need to avoid conflict with your spouse, parent, or child and so you avoid being at home altogether or you avoid engaging with others in your home by working more, talking on the phone more, spending time on the computer more, drinking alcohol more…everything but really creating the loving, safe, peaceful, and joyful environment – a soulful baseline — that could feed your soul and move your life forward in all the right ways. And all of these meaningless activities and time-wasters complicate your life in ways that remove you from your center of mind-body-spirit balance.

Your life can be as simple and balanced — or as complex and off-kilter — as you choose to make it. Here are some suggestions for finding your way back to simplicity, balance, and joy. Make a habit of as many of the following approaches as you can and you will see your life begin to change for the better:

  1. Don’t make things so hard – the moments when you feel at peace, calm, and balanced are those times when you are doing what is right for you. Trust this feeling. Strive to make the circumstances and activities of those times the predominate themes in your life.
  2. Maintain your health. Nothing will work right in your life without it. If you’re not focusing on being healthy, start here.
  3. Give your body the sleep it needs. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, your body needs to operate from a place of balance, and sleep is an essential aspect.
  4. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier. Avoid starting your day off by rushing or being late.
  5. Catch yourself comparing yourself with others and feeling competitive and jealous. Shun those thoughts – shut them down, as they are completely wasted time and mental effort.
  6. When you’re wrong and you know it, just quickly say so, apologize, and allow everyone to move on. Don’t allow stupid things to fester. We all make mistakes; we’re all wrong at times.
  7. Stop being a people-pleaser and stop trying to make everyone a friend.
  8. Stop being offended when everyone doesn’t want to be your friend. You can be kind, a nice neighbor, a compassionate human being, and helpful co-worker without having to be friends with everyone. Many of us already have a boat-load of significant relationships that we’re not paying enough attention to. I am extremely selective about with whom I’ll establish a personal relationship. There should be a values-match with the people you allow in your life. They should support you and you should support them. If they don’t make you feel good about you, question that relationships place in your life.
  9. Don’t talk incessantly about yourself. If you’ve been visiting with someone and all you’ve done is talk about yourself, trust me, they won’t want to visit with you anymore (and this may explain why everyone doesn’t want to be your friend).
  10. De-clutter your primary living and working environments – office, home, car, etc. Clutter is damaging to your energy – mental and spiritual.
  11. Forgive those who have hurt you – do it for you. There are many great books on learning to forgive. Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy also provides a strong approach to beginning the process of forgiveness.
  12. If you don’t know the answer, ask for help – be it directions, advice, instructions, etc. Get the help you need and move on. Asking questions or for clarification politely is not confrontational and is not belligerent. Getting answers will help you do things right the first time.
  13. Figure out where your life’s primary frustrations and time-wasters are, and put a plan in place to fix it. Get help, eliminate, put processes in place…fix it…now.
  14. Don’t assume …just stop making assumptions. Ask questions, clarify, converse, communicate.
  15. Don’t expect others to make assumptions. If you want something done a certain way, say so. You are not being aggressive or out of line when you politely state what you want.
  16. Take control of your temper by remembering to pause and breathe when you are about to say something nasty or rude. Stop yourself – pause — before a single word comes out of your mouth. You’ll save yourself a lot more time and heartache if you don’t speak out of anger.
  17. Always, always, always live below your means. Don’t make big impulse purchases….ever. Think about it first.
  18. Never, ever forego your monthly savings plan unless for a catastrophic emergency.
  19. Really do surround yourself with people who are smarter, funnier, and healthier than you. It really motivates you to raise your game and also comes in handy when you need help or guidance.
  20. Remember…what you do to others has already been done to you. There is no avoiding karma. Allow karma to serve as a self-governing system for all of your actions and words.
  21. Do what’s good, what’s right, what’s true for you. Always. Even when it’s not popular. Follow your own internal instruction system. And I don’t mean, if it feels good, do it. I’m referring to getting in touch with your spirit core and living from this place of pure, purposeful, high integrity. There is only one kind of authenticity – and that’s spirit-driven. Only the “Ego-You” is suggesting that you get tattoos, dress scantily, be rude, and so on.
  22. When stressed, anxious, or angry, go workout, go for a walk, physically burn off some energy.
  23. Never drink and drive.
  24. Be trustworthy. Honor all commitments and be known as an honorable, responsible person. Follow through, follow up, be impeccable in word and deed.
  25. Know that it’s never okay to say, “I’m always late.” (It’s very character revealing.)
  26. If you feel love, say so — frequently. “I love you” is a good thing to say.
  27. Use prioritized “to-do” lists every day/week if you really want to get things done and see forward progress in your life.
  28. Incorporate technology into your life wherever and whenever possible. It should expedite and simplify, not complicate, a lot of routine tasks.
  29. Never lie. Never steal.
  30. Avoid long daily commutes.
  31. Be honest with yourself. Living from a place of denial will prevent you from being deeply, truly happy.
  32. Live authentically; embrace your unique spirit-self. Allow others who are important to you to know who you really are.
  33. Only multi-task if you are someone who can get things done.  If you only really accomplish things one task at a time, then, by all means, do one thing at a time as expeditiously as possible. 
  34. When packing for a trip, take the time to plan out what you will really need, and limit yourself to that.
  35. Clean as you go.
  36. If a job isn’t worth doing right the first time, then why do it at all?
  37. It’s not cool — male or female — to be proud that you can’t cook. It just isn’t. Learn to grill, learn to make a few simple things, but please don’t brag that you can’t cook.
  38. Shop when you need to, not just because you want to.
  39. Use cash, not credit, as much as possible. If you don’t have the cash, don’t buy an unnecessary item on credit.
  40. Mind your own business. Nobody really likes a nosey-nose.
  41. Don’t be a sounding board, or whipping board, for crazy, negative people.
  42. Never forget…where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…
  43. Spend time taking good care of your most significant assets – your body/health, your relationships, your home, your vehicles, and so on.
  44. Smile – doesn’t matter who smiles back. Putting out more love and good energy in the world can only be a good thing.
  45. Avoid bad people as much as possible. If you can cut them out of your life, do so. If you have a crazy, evil, addict neighbor – or someone else distasteful in your life, i.e. a co-worker whom you would never choose to associate with, but have to be exposed to everyday – limit your exposure or ignore them to the extent that you can. A daily dose of evil can only hurt you – ignore it. You’re better than that.
  46. Avoid doing things that make you feel bad about yourself as much as possible.
  47. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
  48. Be optimistic. Positive people rock.
  49. Treat the elderly with respect. If someone is frustrating you by moving slowly or otherwise impeding your path, imagine it’s your grandmother, grandfather, or other beloved elder. Show the same respect and patience you’d show – and want shown — to your own loved ones and family.
  50. Expect to forget things. Write things down. Commit to staying organized.
  51. Commit to learning something new every…day, week, month. Be a lifelong learner. Be curious. Engage in interesting moments and contemplate the relevance or applicability to your life. How can the learning of everyday moments be incorporated into your life in ways that can make you better?
  52. Give compliments.
  53. Say please and thank you.
  54. Hold the door for others behind you.
  55. Drink LOTS of water every day.
  56. Got a great idea. Pursue it. Pursuing talents, dreams, and passions is what your life was meant for.
  57. Don’t give up when the going gets tough. It’s going to be tough nowadays. Start-ups were never easy – and they’re even harder today. The people who innovate, persevere, and hang in there today will rule the world tomorrow.
  58. Spend time in nature as much as possible.
  59. Don’t be afraid of the sun….just wear sunscreen.
  60. Stop texting and driving.
  61. If you meet someone you like and would like to develop a relationship, let them know.
  62. Never stop building your network.
  63. Don’t repeatedly ignore people who reach out to you and then call them when you’re out of work or when you need something. Ever.
  64. Be bold. Be courageous. Don’t base your life, your choices, your actions on what you think other people will think.
  65. Never eat when you’re not hungry.
  66. Incorporate 30 minutes of activity into your every day schedule. How many days should you exercise…Well, how many days do you eat?
  67. Remember, people are what they do…not what they say.
  68. Give thanks every single day for all that you do have. Make gratitude for what is going right in your life – for what you do have—the foundation from which you approach your life. I give thanks for all that I have every single morning upon waking and frequently throughout the day. I learned through my cancer experience last year to take nothing – not a single day – for granted.
  69. Write out your life’s priorities. Create a life “purpose plan” and allow it to guide your priorities, decisions, and choices. If a major decision or choice doesn’t move you toward what you ultimately want, why do it in the first place?
  70. If you can’t change something, learn how to live peacefully with it.
  71. Remember, “luck” goes to the hard workers.
  72. Be a great problem-solver. Think deeply and move toward the solutions that – upon considering them – immediately lighten your load emotionally.
  73. Be a great friend. Be the kind of friend that you’d like to have.
  74. Don’t try to be older than you really are. Relish every age. The sweet times pass quickly.
  75. Find the lesson in everything…and then move on. Don’t dwell on the past. Don’t be a victim. Live in the here and now and create your future moment by moment.
  76. Make sure you choose a vocation that you truly love, that doesn’t feel like work. Love your job. If you don’t, figure out what you do love and get about the business of doing it. Get a foot in the door. Volunteer. Hang your own shingle. Life is too precious to unnecessarily spend it doing something that sucks the life out of you.
  77. Don’t allow anyone to discourage you when you are following your heart and dreams…go for it!
  78. In the midst of the hardest times, tell yourself, this, too, shall pass.
  79. Take time to smell the roses….literally. Breathe deeply the fresh air. Take in the sunset/sunrise. Gaze at the stars. Soak up a sunny, blue sky. Don’t lose your sense of wonder. Listen to the Lee Ann Womack song, I Hope You Dance.
  80. Give yourself a pat on the back, a toast, and “three cheers” when you have even small victories.
  81. Laugh…hard and often.
  82. Give affection, allow yourself to receive affection.
  83. Focus on what you’re good at – and then strive to be very, very good. This brings pride and satisfaction, and helps to eliminate frustration.
  84. Don’t defend or overlook out-of-line, incompetent, or incorrigible behavior. Better to say nothing than to defend or protect evil.
  85. Meditate, meditate, and meditate. Did I mention that you should meditate? Meditate.

Kristi LeBlanc is the Executive Vice President and Managing Director, North American Consumer Practice with DHR International, a top-5, retained, global executive search firm. She has spent 15 years as a retained executive recruiter with the globe’s largest, most prestigious executive search firms, including Korn/Ferry International where she was a Senior Partner.  She is also the author of  the award-winning, “Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy,” and the President of Living with Certainty™ LLC where she is also corporate keynote speaker and organizational and personal consultant. To learn more visit http://www.Livingwithcertainty.com, http://www.dhrinternational.com/consultants/consultantsviewbio.aspx?consultantid=329, or call Kristi at 303-997-9328.

Purchase copies of the three-time award-winning book, Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy, at Amazon.

Votre vie peut être si facile et équilibrée – ou au contraire si compliquée et insatisfaisante– selon le choix que vous faites.

 

Voici quelques suggestions pour trouver votre chemin pour retrouver la simplicité, l’équilibre et le plaisir. Faites de ces points une nouvelle habitude et vous pourrez constater une amélioration positive de votre vie:

 

1. Ne vous rendez pas la vie si difficile – les moments pendant lesquels vous vous sentez paisible, tout en bien-être et équilibre sont des moments qui vous font du bien. Ayez confiance en ce sentiment. Ayez comme but de créer les circonstances et les activités qui font de ces moments les thèmes essentiels de votre vie.

 

2. Faites votre possible pour rester en bonne santé. Sans cela votre vie n’y sera pas assez bien préparée. Si vous ne prêtez pas une attention suffisante à une vie saine, commencez dès maintenant.

 

3. Permettez à votre corps de prendre le repos qui lui est nécessaire. Votre corps – physique, mental et spirituel – en a besoin pour fonctionner sur une base saine et dormir suffisamment est un point essentiel.

 

4. Allez plus tôt au lit et levez-vous de bonne heure. Cela évite de commencer la journée en se dépêchant ou d’être en retard.

 

5. Ne cherchez pas à vous comparer aux autres, à entrer en rivalité ou être jaloux. Évitez ce genre de pensées et stoppez-les car cela vous prend tant votre temps que votre énergie.

 

6. Quand vous avez tort et que vous le savez, reconnaissez-le simplement, présentez vos excuses et laissez la journée suivre son cours. Ne laissez pas ces bêtises prendre de l’ampleur. Nous faisons tous des erreurs, nous avons tous parfois eu tort.

 

7. Arrêtez de vouloir faire plaisir à tout le monde et arrêtez de vouloir être l’ami de tout le monde.

 

8. Ne vous sentez pas offensé si tout le monde ne souhaite pas être votre ami. Vous pouvez être un gentil voisin, une personne impliquée et compatissante, et un collègue serviable, sans devoir être l’ami de tout le monde. Beaucoup d’entre nous ont beaucoup de relations importantes auxquelles nous apportons bien trop peu d’attention. Je suis très pointilleuse sur le choix des personnes avec lesquelles je veux entretenir une relation personnelle. Il doit y avoir des valeurs communes avec les gens à qui vous permettez d’entrer dans votre vie. Ils devraient vous soutenir comme vous le feriez pour eux. Si les autres ne vous permettent pas de vous sentir bien, demandez-vous quelle signification ces relations ont dans votre vie.

 

9. Ne parlez pas toujours de vous. Si en faisant une visite à quelqu’un, vous n’avez parlé que de vous, alors – croyez-moi- les personnes ne souhaiteront plus vous recevoir (et vous saurez peut-être aussi pourquoi tout le monde ne souhaite pas être votre ami).

 

10. Veillez à ranger votre salon, votre espace de travail, bureau, maison, voiture etc… Le désordre est préjudiciable pour votre énergie, votre mental et votre énergie spirituelle.

 

 

 

11. Pardonnez ceux qui vous ont blessé, faites-le pour vous. Il existe de très bons livres expliquant la manière pour pardonner. ‘Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy’ donne aussi des pistes solides pour commencer à apprendre le pardon.

 

12. Quand vous ne connaissez pas une réponse, cherchez de l’aide, en demandant des conseils, avis, instructions etc… Veillez à obtenir l’aide dont vous avez besoin et allez de l’avant. Le fait de poser des questions ou de demander poliment une clarification n’est pas source de confrontation ni d’agressivité. Veillez à obtenir la bonne réponse et à faire les choses convenablement dès la première fois.

 

13. Cherchez quelle est la plus grande frustration de votre vie et les causes qui vous font perdre votre temps et faites un plan pour y remédier. Demandez de l’aide, éliminez, mettez des processus en route, balayez-les de votre esprit… Maintenant.

 

14. N’attendez rien des autres. Arrêtez de faire des suppositions. Posez des questions, clarifiez, parlez, communiquez.

 

15. N’attendez pas des autres qu’ils fassent les choses. Si vous voulez que quelque chose soit fait d’une manière ou d’une autre, dites-le simplement. Vous n’êtes ni agressif ni impoli si vous signalez aux autres ce que vous voudriez avoir.

 

16. Quand vous sentez la colère monter en vous, faites une pause, et respirez à fond. Quand vous êtes sur le point de dire quelque chose de méchant ou d’impoli : retenez-vous – arrêtez-vous – avant qu’un seul mot n’ait le temps de sortir de votre bouche. Vous économiserez beaucoup de temps et de douleur quand vous vous tairez en étant en colère.

 

17. Vivez toujours, toujours, toujours en dessous de votre niveau de vie. Ne faites jamais de gros achats impulsifs… Jamais. Rappelez-vous en.

 

18. Tenez votre budget mensuel à l’oeil et ne le dépassez jamais, sauf en cas de nécessité absolue.

 

19. Cherchez la compagnie de gens plus intelligents, plus agréables et en meilleure santé que vous. Cela motive à atteindre un meilleur niveau de vie et c’est aussi utile si vous avez besoin d’aide ou de conseils.

 

20. Retenez… que toutes vos actions envers les autres vous reviennent. Il n’existe rien comme le karma. Accepter que le karma existe comme un système d’autorégulation pour tous vos faits et vos paroles.

 

21. Faites ce dans quoi vous vous sentez bien, qui vous paraît juste, et qui suit votre vérité. Toujours. Même si cela s’écarte de la norme. Suivez les indications comme si elles venaient de l’intérieur. Et je ne veux pas seulement le dire, si vous sentez que c’est bien, faites-le. Je veux dire que vous devez être en contact avec votre moi spirituel et que votre vie suit cette belle intégrité à la fois saine et pleine de sens. Il n’existe qu’une sorte d’authenticité – et elle vient de votre esprit sain. C’est seulement votre ego qui vous raconte que vous devez vous faire tatouer, être mal habillé, être impoli etc.

 

22. Quand vous sentez de la tension, de l’insécurité ou de la colère, dépensez-vous physiquement. Allez marcher pour éliminer l’énergie négative qui est en vous.

 

23. Ne buvez jamais d’alcool quand vous devez conduire.

 

24. Soyez digne de confiance. Faites votre devoir et faites-vous connaître comme une personne fiable, responsable. Soyez fidèle, intéressé et irréprochable tant en paroles que dans les faits.

 

25. Sachez qu’il n’est pas bon de dire « je suis toujours en retard » (cela en dit long sur votre caractère).

 

26. Quand vous ressentez de l’amour, dites-le – aussi souvent que possible. C’est de dire « je t’aime ».

 

27. Utilisez des listes pour chaque jour/semaine en ordre d’importance, des choses qui doivent impérativement être faites. Ainsi vous savez ce que vous devez faire et vous pouvez prendre de l’avance dans votre vie.

 

28. Utilisez les technologies modernes quand cela est possible. Cela devrait vous aider à simplifier la routine et pas la compliquer.

 

29. Ne mentez pas, ne volez pas.

 

30. Évitez de longs transports pendulaires quotidiens.

 

31. Soyez honnête avec vous-même. Évitez de vivre dans la négation permet de se sentir véritablement et profondément heureux.

 

32. Vivre de manière authentique ; appréciez votre moi spirituel unique. Laissez ceux qui ont de l’importance pour vous, apprendre à vous connaître, tel que vous êtes vraiment.

 

33. Ne faites plusieurs choses à la fois que si vous en êtes réellement capable. Si vous êtes une personne qui ne peut réaliser qu’une seule chose à la fois, faites comme cela aussi aisément que possible.

 

34. Quand vous devez faire vos valises pour partir en voyage, prenez le temps de penser à ce dont vous allez avoir vraiment besoin, et tenez-vous à cette liste.

 

35. Rangez votre désordre.

 

36. Si une chose n’a pas besoin d’être bien faite dès la première fois, pourquoi le faire?

 

37. Il n’est pas bon de se vanter, tant pour un homme que pour une femme, de ne pas savoir faire la cuisine. Apprenez à cuire sur le grill, apprenez à préparer des petites choses simples, mais de grâce, ne vous vantez pas de ne pas savoir cuisiner.

 

38. N’allez faire les courses que lorsque vous en avez besoin et pas quand vous en avez envie.

 

39. Payez le plus souvent possible directement, n’achetez pas à crédit lorsque c’est possible. Si vous n’avez pas l’argent comptant, n’achetez pas des affaires superflues par virement.

 

40. Mêlez-vous de vos propres affaires. Une personne qui se mêle de tout n’est appréciée par personne.

 

41. Ne soyez pas une caisse de résonance ou un souffre-douleur de personnes négatives et idiotes.

 

42. N’oubliez jamais qu’il n’y a pas de fumée sans feu. L’habit ne fait pas le moine…

 

43. Prenez du temps à soigner vos atouts, votre corps/santé, vos relations, votre maison, votre voiture…

 

44. Souriez, peu importe si on vous renvoie votre sourire. La diffusion de plus d’amour et de bonne énergie dans ce monde ne peut être qu’un bienfait.

 

45. Évitez les mauvaises personnes autant que possible. Si vous pouvez les tenir à l’écart de votre vie, faites-le. Si vous avez un voisin (ou une voisine) dérangé, colérique, dépendant, ou bien toute autre personne, comme un collègue à qui vous ne voulez pas avoir à faire, mais auquel vous être exposé tous les jours, évitez tout contact et ignorez-le aussi souvent que possible. Une dose quotidienne de ce genre de chose est mauvaise pour vous, ignorez-la. Vous valez mieux.

 

46. Évitez le plus possible de faire des choses qui vous donnent des sensations désagréables.

 

47. Traitez les autres comme vous aimeriez que l’on vous traite.

 

48. Soyez optimiste. Les personnes positives sont appréciées.

 

49. Traitez les personnes âgées avec respect. Si une personne vous agace car elle marche trop lentement ou, d’une manière ou d’une autre, est en travers de votre chemin, pensez à votre grand-mère, votre grand-père ou une autre personne âgée que vous estimez. Montrez autant de respect et de patience que vous souhaiteriez que les autres aient s’il s’agissait de vos proches ou de votre famille.

 

50. Ne pensez pas que vous pouvez tout retenir. Écrivez les choses. Faites votre possible pour être organisé.

 

51. Mettez-vous dans l’idée d’apprendre quelque chose de nouveau tous les jours, semaines, mois. Passez votre vie à apprendre. Restez curieux. Restez ouvert sur des possibilités intéressantes, pensez à leur importance et à leur application dans votre vie. Comment donner une petite place à toutes les choses que vous apprenez tous les jours afin de faire de vous un homme meilleur?

 

52. Faites des compliments.

 

53. Dites s’il vous plaît et merci.

 

54. Retenez la porte pour ceux qui vous suivent.

 

55. Chaque jour, buvez beaucoup d’eau.

 

56. Si vous avez une bonne idée, faites-en quelque chose. Suivre ses talents, ses rêves et sa passion, c’est à cela qui donne un sens à la vie.

 

57. N’abandonnez pas quand c’est difficile. La vie de nos jours n’est pas facile. Commencer quelque chose n’a jamais été facile ni aussi pénible. Les personnes qui aujourd’hui innovent, tiennent et poursuivent leur route, sont les personnes qui dirigeront le monde demain.

 

58. Passez un maximum de temps au contact de la nature.

 

59. N’ayez pas peur du soleil… Protégez-vous.

 

60. Ne tapez pas de sms lorsque vous conduisez.

 

61. Quand vous rencontrez une personne que vous trouvez sympathique et que vous souhaiteriez connaître, dites-le lui.

 

62. Continuez à construire votre réseau.

 

63. N’ignorez pas continuellement les personnes qui ont besoin de vous et dont vous pourriez avoir besoin un jour. Jamais.

 

64. Soyez fort et courageux. Ne basez votre vie, vos choix et vos actions sur ce que vous croyez que les autres pourraient penser.

 

65. Ne mangez jamais… quand vous n’avez pas faim.

 

66. Bougez 30 minutes par jour. Combien de jour devriez-vous bouger par semaine ? … Euh… Combien de jour par semaine mangez-vous?

 

67. Retenez ceci. Les gens sont ce qu’ils font… et non ce qu’ils disent.

 

68. Soyez chaque jour reconnaissant pour ce que vous avez, sur ce qui va bien dans votre vie. Faites de cette reconnaissance la base de votre approche de la vie. Chaque matin, quand je me réveille, et souvent en journée, je dis merci pour tout ce que j’ai. Par mon expérience avec le cancer l’année dernière, j’ai appris à ne rien trouver évident, pas un seul jour.

 

69. Écrivez ce qui est important pour vous dans votre vie. Faites un plan pour atteindre les objectifs de votre vie, et donnez à ce plan un fil conducteur tiré de ce que vous trouvez important, dans vos choix et dans vos décisions. Si une décision importante ou un choix ne vous amène pas près de ce que vous voulez vraiment, pourquoi le faire?

 

70. Quand vous ne pouvez pas changer quelque chose, apprenez à vivre en paix avec cela.

 

71. Retenez que le mot « chance » n’existe que pour ceux qui travaillent dur.

 

72. Soyez quelqu’un qui résout bien les problèmes. Réfléchissez et travaillez à des solutions qui, si vous les regardez bien, sont plus faciles à accepter sur le plan émotionnel.

 

73. Soyez un bon ami. Soyez l’ami que vous voudriez avoir.

 

74. Ne vous comportez pas plus vieux que vous ne l’êtes. Chérissez chaque âge. Sinon les meilleurs moments sont déjà passés.

 

75. Apprenez de vos leçons de vie et foncez. Ne restez pas accroché au passé. N’en soyez pas victime. Vivez dans le présent et créez votre propre futur, pas après pas.

 

76. Veillez à choisir un métier auquel vous tenez, que vous ne ressentez pas comme un travail. Aimez votre métier. Si tel n’est pas le cas, pensez à ce que vous aimez et faites-le. Mettez-vous à la tâche de manière active. La vie est trop précieuse pour s’occuper de l’inutile ce qui vous coûte trop d’énergie.

 

77. Ne vous laissez pas décourager quand vous suivez votre coeur et vos rêves… Allez de l’avant!

 

78. Durant les moments difficiles, dites-vous qu’ils vont passer.

 

79. Prenez le temps de sentir des roses… Littéralement. Respirez profondément de l’air frais. Expérimentez le lever ou le coucher de soleil. Regardez les étoiles. Inspirez le ciel bleu ensoleillé. Ne perdez pas le sentiment d’étonnement. Écoutez la chanson de Lee Ann Womack – I Hope You Dance.

 

80. Donnez-vous une petite tape sur l’épaule, levez votre verre et criez trois fois hourra pour votre victoire, aussi petite soit-elle.

 

81. Riez… Fort et souvent.

 

82. Donnez de l’affection et soyez prêt à en recevoir aussi.

 

83. Concentrez-vous sur ce que vous savez bien faire – et visez à exceller en ce domaine. Cela vous apportera fierté et satisfaction et apportera une fin à vos frustrations.

 

84. Vous ne devez pas défendre ou ignorer des comportements marqués d’incompétence ou d’un négativisme invétéré. Mieux vaut ne rien dire que de défendre ou de protéger le mal.

 

85. Méditez, méditez et méditez. Vous ai-je déjà dit de méditer? Méditez.

 

Kristi LeBlanc a travaillé 15 ans comme ‘retained executive recruiter’ une des sociétés les plus grandes et les plus respectées en Executive Search, notamment chez Korn/Ferry International où elle était Senior Partner. Actuellement, elle travaille en tant qu’ Executive Vice President à DHR International, une des 5 meilleures entreprises dans le domaine de ‘retained, global executive search’.

 

Elle est aussi l’auteur du livre couronné de succès “Living with Certainty: Experience Deep-Soul Joy” et elle est la fondatrice et présidente de Living with CertaintyTM LLC où elle est aussi ‘corporate keynote speaker’ ainsi que collaboratrice et coach personnel.

 

Pour plus d’informations:

 

www.livingwithcertainty.com/2011/07/06/85-ways-to-lose-real-weight-this-summer-lighten-your-load/

 

www.livingwithcertainty.com

 

www.dhrinternational.com/consultants/consultantsviewbio.aspx?consultantid=329

 

Traduction : Céline David

 

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/céline-david/1b/85/806

 

Idée: Koos Groenewoud, Ambassadeur Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership Europe et fondateur et responsable de ‘Van Management naar (NIEUW) leiderschap’

 

Koos.Groenewoud@AAA-TFM.nl – www.AAA-TFM.nl – http://nl.linkedin.com/in/koosgroenewoud