Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Is it Really Love? 5 Takeaways for Looking at Your “Love” in a New Light

Monday, March 21st, 2011

1 – Love is an unselfish, warm, tender feeling of affection, caring, and attachment. It is a pure-intentioned, positive, high-vibrating energy, feeling, and force, and is the most significant element in our Earthly lives. Love is the master frequency — the optimal energy vibration we should strive for in our lives. It is a transformational energy in every respect. When you give love, you project the highest frequency energy out into the universe. It works every time. This pure energy does not in any way involve material things/pleasures such as wedding dresses, diamond rings, and honeymoons. Rather, it involves complete connection, compassion, service, and acceptance.  

2 – Love requires effort. And this is where a lot of people who think they might be in love, fall down. It’s fun for lots of people to plan a wedding, but putting forth ongoing effort into perpetuity to nourish and develop/deepen that initial level of passion, romance, and interest ego-personalities isn’t always so much “fun.” Our ego-personalities can create problems for us in the realm of love by lowering the frequency of, this otherwise pure energy. So many people set limits around their ability to love, around how much effort they’re willing to put forth, when there should be no limits.

Don’t get married if you think that down the road you may be too busy to nourish or care for your relationship. If you are to maintain a strong foundation and remain interested in one another, it’s essential that you and your spouse dedicate yourselves to creating time for connection and intimacy, and reminding yourself of the reasons you initially fell in love. Your spouse should be your best friend. The healthiest marriages are characterized by the desire and dedication to help your spouse grow and move forward. You should always remain in your mate’s corner, ever dependable and trustworthy, while providing a safe haven for one another. If you can’t see and feel yourself putting forth this much time and effort into someone else, don’t get married.

I consult with so many individuals who need to lift themselves out of a bad place in their lives because of bad relationships that never really were “the one.” 

3 – You’ve heard it a hundred times before, but it’s true — you really must respect and love yourself before you can respect and love others. You simply can’t –and won’t — have authentic, healthy relationships when you don’t know and understand yourself. If you don’t fundamentally love yourself, your relationships with others will almost certainly be dysfunctional. And you’ll be unable to attract fully formed, enlightened individuals into your orbit.

The quality and nature of your relationships — and your experiences with people — serve as a mirror for you about all aspects of your life, including your own level of enlightenment. The things you find irritating in others may well be the very traits that you dislike in yourself. This is why we usually don’t get along with the people who are most like us. The negative feelings we experience about the vices, habits, and behaviors of others often serve to show us an aspect of ourselves that needs healing. Sadly, too many people suffer from feelings of personal inferiority. They place excessive focus on defeat, as if it represents who they are or their future potential. Low self-esteem is the root of much negativity and skewed thinking in the world, and it can be difficult to overcome.

If you have battled with feelings of self-loathing, worthlessness, guilt, and shame, now is the time to make peace with yourself. You’ ll never move forward until you do. It is essential to the Living with Certainty process that you confront your true nature. Be grateful and accepting of the authentic you. This is an essential step in your spiritual journey. Doc Childre, HeartMath founder and global authority on optimizing human performance and personal effectiveness, stated, “Ultimately when we learn to truly love and accept ourselves, we’ll be able to live well and to love each other and everything we encounter.”

Before you can truly experience deep-soul joy, you must first experience self-love and self-respect. They will form the foundation from which you interact with the world. You have a responsibility to love yourself and embrace your worthiness. You must become your own best friend and biggest fan. You will do this by accepting that at your essence, you are inherently miraculous and perfect Source energy, living in an Earthly body. You can achieve greatness in your life – really think about this…what’s your next bold move going to be? Where can you make your mark now – leave a lasting legacy?

As you discover your inspired soul-view, loving and respecting who you are and why you’re here becomes easier and less complicated. To experience deep-soul joy, to eliminate static and align with the flow of your spiritual power frequency, to generate energy at the purest, highest vibrational frequencies possible, to live the life the universe always intended for you to live, you must love yourself unconditionally.

4 – Some of the healthiest relationships grow out of what began as purely friendship. The laughter, love, affirmation, support, and kindness extended by your inner circle lifts and strengthens you. As you begin your Living with Certainty journey, you’ll develop an inner circle of supporters who will be there when you need them. This inner circle can provide support to you during the toughest times and transitions in your life. Trusted friends or mentors can be the best people to help you break your negative patterns, because they provide support and truth in compassionate and supportive ways. Your inner circle provides a safe place for you to share your blessings, struggles, wisdom, learning, grief, pain, and joy.

Whether you realize it or not, you are an amalgam of the significant people in your life. The people in our lives change us — and the people with whom you surround yourself can either elevate you or drag you down. As you Live with Certainty your goal must be to ensure that your relationships consistently lift you up, helping to take you in a positive direction.

As you take stock of your relationships in an effort to determine who is, in fact, a part of your inner circle, consider the following traits an essential threshold: they are grateful for your presence in their lives and cherish their relationship with you as much as you do with them; they have cared about and supported you unconditionally over an extended period of time; you both want to grow together; they bring you joy; they are honorable, ethical, and truthful; they have an optimistic, positive mindset and outlook; they are well-intended; they care about your growth, development, and well-being; you can confide in them and trust them implicitly; they engage in discussions that provide you with essential perspective and focus; and they feed and nurture you, providing a safe place to fall.

5 – If you find that the kindness you extend to another isn’t being reciprocated, or you feel that the relationship’s energy exchange is turning dense and negative, it’s time for a fix – or maybe to even end the relationship if you are not married. If it’s a casual dating relationship, do what you can to minimize your exposure to this person, or end the relationship outright. Red flags should appear when any of the following behaviors rear their ugly heads: egocentricity; stretching the truth or lying; gossip; undependability; lack of integrity; envy or jealousy; flakiness and flightiness; judgment; competition; lack of support; disrespect; or abuse. When a relationship causes you to compromise yourself, your values, and/or your self-respect, it’s unhealthy.